The Empress' New Clothes

Sorry about the past few weeks, real life has been very hectic lately and I haven't been online much at all. Thanks to all who participated in last month's contest and those who commented on the submissions.

I have a sequel/followup to my 'Real Mammazons' caption, but I've since found several fun new pictures that I sort of want to use, so I might rewrite the caption into a short series just to use them.

Anyway, on to today's short story, which is more than a bit inspired by some of the Sympathetic Devil's stories....

The Empress' New Clothes

Empress Barbella of Dhalzi descended the staircase to her courtyard, as the royal band announced her arrival, and cursed her new high heels. Ten steps down, and her feet were already killing her.

Though, her heels were really the least of her worries. Despite herself, she was nervous about showing off her new clothes to the crowded court. The tailor she had invited to her palace was nothing like she had expected from his reputation. He was crude in both his look and method, with his very speech low-born and uncouth in the extreme. She'd almost ordered him removed the first time she laid eyes upon him, before he announced himself as the famed Bob the Tailor.

Word of the tailor's amazing talents had been spreading throughout the lands for months, and all the palace courtesans had been whispering about him whenever within earshot of the Empress, the more daring even hinting that Barbella's wardrobe was woefully out of fashion.

Worse, some of the more powerful ladies in the court had even been snarkily jesting that the Empress couldn't afford the man, that he only worked with the highest of the high, that he was actually planning to set sail for more prestigious lands to the north since the Dhalzi Empire was proving to be beneath a man of his artistry.

The insults had inflamed her to no end, and Empress Barbella had vowed to hire the man at once, no matter the cost.

It was this that strengthened her resolve to ignore the man's uncouth appearance and behavior. At his urging, she'd even sat through the man's humiliating measuring and careful sculpting of her new dress, as he refused to use one of her many handmaidens as a stand-in, as was usual. The embarrassing ordeal had taken far longer than she thought necessary, but the tailor only shushed her when she tried to ask questions, or wondered why he had to measure her bustline multiple times.

Thankfully, when it came time to finally stitch the dress up, the man had been remarkably quick in his work, finishing the dress in mere moments.

Perhaps it was the thin fabric, "the finest silks in all the lands", according to him. It was so thin, in fact, that she could scarcely feel it at all! It was like wearing the air itself. It was a bit sheer for her tastes, but the tailor was quick to assure her that "Sheer is the new black, babe", whatever that meant, and that "You've got the ass to pull it off."

She wasn't at all sure what her pet donkeys had to do with her ability to wear her new wardrobe, but the man was strange and she'd quickly learned not to question him further. His replies invariably just left her feeling more confused.

At long last Empress Barbella reached the bottom of the stairs, and pushed her mind back to the present. It was time to begin the New Year's Ball and unveil her new clothes.

Looking around, Barbella was pleased to see the palace grounds were crowded already, even though the dances and planned fireworks would not begin until sundown, some hours yet away. She was particularly pleased that she had decided to descend the outer stairs instead of her inner private staircase, as the outer courtyard was positively packed to the brim. True, they were mostly just low-born cityfolk, there to greet their Empress and enjoy a night of free entertainment. But it was good to always show off a new fashion to as many people as one could. Especially one that had come with such a high price tag as her new dress.

Of course, for the party proper she'd retire to the inner courtyard with just her high-born guests, but it was good to let the lower members society feel involved.

"Empress Barbella of Dhalzi!" exclaimed her royal announcer, as horns blew. The crowd turned as one, well-practiced in splitting apart to let the Empress walk freely.

She smiled to her subjects, quite pleased to see the shocked looks on their faces. Especially the courtesans, who seemed uncharacteristically slack-jawed. She would relish their hastily formed compliments, as they tried to get back in her good-graces, the little harpies. But for now she amused herself with sauntering through the crowd, wincing only slightly as she stepped forward in her new high heels. The tailor had assured her that they wouldn't chaff her well-oiled feet, or chip her pedicured nails, but they were still much too tall for her comfort

A young man, wearing the apprentice-apparel of a blacksmith, suddenly gasped from the crowd, "Good grief, the slut's totally nak--"

There was a resounding ~SMACK!~ that echoed around the silent courtyard, and she turned, just in time to see the young man cover his cheek. It was bright red from the handprint from his master's slap.

The powerfully built blacksmith whispered to his smarting apprentice, just loud enough for her to hear, "Shut yer yap, and enjoy the show, you idjit! You'll thank me later." He noticed his Empress listening, and shot her a wide-grin. "Er, uh, good, uh, that's a lovely new dress, your highness. Top of the shelf, I'm sure!"

Barbella flashed the large man a feigned smile, and turned away, rolling her eyes at the clumsy oaf's words. These low-born citydwellers were always so embarrassing when they tried to court favor. Sighing, she headed over to her courtesans, eager to hear their own attempts to butter her up.

***

 

"And you wouldn't believe the price," Empress Barbella gushed to her courtesans, who were most assuredly her best friends, after all the praise they had just heaped upon her dress. "I thought from the rumors that he'd want to loot my treasury. I half expected I'd be announcing a new tax at this party!"

She laughed at her little joke, gulping down more wine. "But you'll never guess what he wanted... the silly tailor just wants to ride my donkey! He said if I let him ride my big, beautiful ass every day for a year, he'd not only consider that payment for the dress, but he'd make me a whole new wardrobe, a new dress for every day of the year! I said yes, of course, before he came to his senses. He says he'll take the first ride tonight, after I've finished this bottle of wine-- ~HIC!~"

She hiccuped, and giggled, as she sloshed the nearly empty bottle. "Oh, looks like I'll have to let him down to the royal stables pretty soon. Hopefully I'll be back before the final firework show. Good'day, ladies."